your body will be wherever you left it

said by: Dad in response to "Dad, I can't find my body!" (shouted) by a nearly 5 year old
why: because world of warcraft has infiltrated my house

oh dear, the dogs have eaten your beeswax candles

to: a very understanding 4.5 year old
when: the morning after she left the candles she'd made in the dog's bedroom aka. laundry room.

why can't my 8 year old get the car started?

from: one mother to another
why: because the car is cold, the kids are cold and the mum is busy freezing her butt off getting all her other kids into their car seats

take care darling, your wings nearly tipped your apple juice over

to: 4.5 year old fairy princess having dinner
why?: Why not?

why is there a green pencil in the fridge?

to: a four year old
who responded: "to keep it cool."

How cold is a rat?

in response to: "this mash is as cold as a rat."
said by: a tired 4 year old at supper
whose reply was: "this cold "(holds arms wide open)

Take your shorts off you ankles or you'll fall over

to: 4 year old
as: I see her cute bare bum running-waddling away from me

I don't really care if he likes it, stop touching the dog's willy.

to: nearly 4 year old
why: because she's interested by the bits that dangle and those that don't.

it's not nice to deliberately fart in the dogs face

to: 3.5 year old
why: because daddy told her it was funny to stick her bum in front of the dog's nose and pass gas!

Now your sock will turn into swiss cheese if Ebby gets it.

to: 3.5 year old
why: as encouragement to keep her socks on her feet so that yet another pair is not reconfigured by our 9 month old puppy.

How did your poo get to be bright green!?

to: 3.5 year old, who had, the day before, been fueled by black icing off her halloween gingerbread house
proof: mum's have to be detectives in order not to panic!

Please do not speak and talk at the same time.

to: 3 1/2 year old who is eating and talking at the same time
why: because it's the end of a long day and I'm a little confused :-)

Emmy, eat your sandwich not your buckle.

Said: To 2.5 year old
Why: Typical table talk

Come on now guys, the plastic fish is not for dogs.

to: 8 month old puppies and a plastic fish