oh dear, the dogs have eaten your beeswax candles

to: a very understanding 4.5 year old
when: the morning after she left the candles she'd made in the dog's bedroom aka. laundry room.

why can't my 8 year old get the car started?

from: one mother to another
why: because the car is cold, the kids are cold and the mum is busy freezing her butt off getting all her other kids into their car seats

take care darling, your wings nearly tipped your apple juice over

to: 4.5 year old fairy princess having dinner
why?: Why not?

why is there a green pencil in the fridge?

to: a four year old
who responded: "to keep it cool."

How cold is a rat?

in response to: "this mash is as cold as a rat."
said by: a tired 4 year old at supper
whose reply was: "this cold "(holds arms wide open)

Take your shorts off you ankles or you'll fall over

to: 4 year old
as: I see her cute bare bum running-waddling away from me

I don't really care if he likes it, stop touching the dog's willy.

to: nearly 4 year old
why: because she's interested by the bits that dangle and those that don't.