Please stop constructing the Titanic and come and eat dinner

Please don't cut your hair with the nail clippers

to: nearly 9 year old
followed by: argument that it looks better now!

please don't write "willy" and "penus" on things - and you don't spell penis like that

sigh
why: a moment of parenting about both graffiti or incorrect spelling

Lovely, that's great

to: 7 year old
in response to: as encouragement to a deep snot filled blow of a nose

Please don't wipe your nose on the dog

to: 5.8 year old
why: because she did
how do I know: because she told me, "I didn't bite the dog, I'm wiped my nose on him"

take the dogs tail out of your mouth

to: 5.5 year old
why: I have not idea why she doesn't understand for herself yet either!

Ok, I paused it so you'll have to click the play button that's just to the right of the cow.

why: computers you know!